Models - Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson
Chapter 4:
Vulnerability holds weight only when it’s communicated unconditionally.
Chapter 7: The Three Fundamentals
Part III Honest Living
Chapter 8 Demographics
LifeStyle Choices
Age, Money and Looks
They do matter, but not equally significant for an individual.(Women
who tend to value only good looks tend to be women who have only good looks.)
The more money/successful/looks you have, the less attractive behavior you need. vice versa.
Race and the Foreigner Effect
Foreigner will have more polarization.
Chances are, minority women respond more to people who are the same race.
More controversial your races are, more polarization you will have. If you behave totally different from stereotypes, you will have the largest amount of attraction.
Social Proof
When we see many other people valuing something, we will unconsciously value it ourselves.
a sort of Scenario Confidence
Alpha Male of the Group (aka AMOG)
The Most Beautiful Women
For top 1% women
two difference: 1. must be full package; 2. they are less needy.
how:
You must take care of yourself, can’t have a major hole in your lifestyle.
just treat them like anyone else, it’s not necessarily hard than average women.
use 0/1 scale, not 1-10 scale, don’t regard them as a reward/accomplishment, don’t put her on a pedestal.
Being Something Versus Saying Something
You can not be a high value guy by just saying something/performing.
You have to improve your lifestyle, stand out ,and be controversial, so that you can polarize women.
Fashion and Fitness
Fashion:
- dress clothes that fit
- matching
- dress to your personality
Fitness:
- Exercise, no matter what.
- Cleaning up diet: eat natural food, instand of fast food, sdoa, desserts and candy.
Body Language
head up
shoulders back
feet straight
back straight
Vocal Tonality
use deeper chest voice
How to Be a Fascinating Person
Develop Artistic Taste.
Assume everything have its own value, and you job is to find it.
Know what’s your like and what’s your dislike, and tell the specific reason.
It is a good way to read critical reviews from websites like www.rottentomatoes.com and www.allmusic.com for improve your taste.
Try New Things.
Have Strong Opinions.
Like the example of author’s ex, when people tell me what’s their feelings, I should express my perspectives instead of just nodding and saying ‘yes’.
Bringing It All Together
Poor lifestyle choices reflect a lack of investment in yourself
Part IV: Honest Action
Chapter 10: What Are Your Stories?
Defense Mechanisms
We always want to avoid fear, uncertainty and failure by blaming, Intellectualizing and showing apathy.
recognize your behavior patterns.
break it
Ask yourselves what are you fear of, write it down and set up a goal for it. Finally, share it to your friends.
You Are Not a Victim
I believe strongly in taking responsibility for everything that happens to you in your life.
Taking responsibility and morphing blame into sacrifice
empowers you.
Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.
Sexual Motivation
Pornography prevent you from more sexual motivated.
masturbation and porn diet:
End all pornography immediately
masterbate once a week or less frequent
fantasize about right people
women you’ve met and have not had sex with.
use lotion or lube
image and Visualize everything with women you met in your head
Chapter 11: How To Overcome Anxiety
You NEVER can NOT overcome anxiety, what you can do is only accustomed to it.
REMERBER: You can be screwed up, but you shouldn’t change your confidence and belief about yourself.
The Guide to Overcoming Your Anxiety
To improve yourself, stairstep trying to achieve one goal at a time.
Courage and Boldness
Use your bold action to approach women, and it will polarize them. greater boldness leads to greater polarization
Whenever you don’t know what to do, choose the bolder one.
Boldness is just the first step, you also need to be aware of social norms and present your personality to keep girls’ interest lasting.
Part V: Honest Communication
Chapter 12: Your Intentions
Women talk more about feelings, the same is true of seduction.
Intention does matter, what you say does not. So, take a look at your beliefs and feelings about women first.
Creepiness
Creepiness is a very vague and subjective word, it is due to you:
cause her to feel insecure(wrong intention, e.g. be needy)
not show enough vulnerability(e.g. you propose to her in First meeting)
had other things:
Bad body language, uncalibrated humor, inappropriate touching, strange conversation topics
The best method way is to accept the fact that you will creep someone out at some point. Paradoxically, you then will be less creepy and more successful, just like treating rejection.
Sexual Tension
Flirting is to express your sexuality.
There are numerous tactics, but they can be grouped into 2 parts:
teasing
create sexual tension by uncertainty of the difference between your intension and your behavior.
the reason is uncertainty.
boldness
straightforwardly show your interest to them.
the reason is polarizing and the feeling of being desired.
However, you need to build and hone social behaviors, it wouldn’t happens overnight.
Developing an Emotional Connection
You can build Emotional connection by self-awareness and vulnerability, it is the most powerful tactic, different from attraction obsession methods that seeks validation.
Women may feel slutty when they sleep with you if using “attraction obsession” tactics.
Her feeling slutty or cheap isn’t about a “Oh, I put out on a first date,” thing. It’s not about number of dates, hours spent together, how many dinners you bought her
Feeling slutty is about sleeping with a guy who doesn’t care about her. If she doesn’t trust you or isn’t 100% convinced that you really like her and care about her, then she’s not going to do it. And if she does, then she’ll regret it and feel dirty.
Digging into both of your mind and emotions.
Taking the lead by sharing those emotions, motivations and life story first.
It will encourage her to open up and share herself in return.
Building and Breaking Habits
Flirting and Emotional Connection is based on the effective communication, next chapter is about it.
- You may feel uncomfortable, because of the difficulty of developing/getting rid of habits.
- Just focus on 1, at most 2 habit(s) at a time.
- It takes time, but wouldn’t be long.
- De-sensitizing yourself to your anxieties. Many habits correlate with it.
a lack of fear and attractive social behaviors are rooted in a comfort with making yourself vulnerable, an honest expression of your desires, and ultimately, comes from a non-needy identity that is not invested in what others think.
Chapter 13: How to Be Charming
First Impressions
The exact words you actually say are far less important than your intentions and level of anxiety.
Guidelines:
- Do NOT startle her or scare her, the only one taboo
- state your intension and reason straightforwardly, praise her, and innocuous. Avoid trying too hard to be clever or interesting
Except for communication, first impression is also about how you present yourself (looks/lifestyle; Chapters 8 and 9), your level of anxiety (anxiety; Chapters 10 and 11)
conversation skills: second -> minute -> hour
Conversation Skills
just gloss over the most important aspects and the advice that’s easiest to implement:
Using effective language
keep precise and not redundant.
Questions versus statements
Statements with cold-reading, instead of question
The only thing people love more than talking about themselves is hearing about themselves.
whatever thoughts are popping into your head at the moment, say it. random is no investment and better.
Creating endless conversation topics
find jump points in sentences, so that you can switch topic freely and begin control any conversation with anybody for any length of time.
combining it with cold-reading is better.
Storytelling
Basics of emotional connection
humor
Chapter 14: The Dating Process
the process involves: Trading of contact details along with following up, dates, either bringing her home or going home with her, having sex, and then
figuring out what kind of relationship (if any) will result.
some times, the first two steps can be skipped, but rare.
Phone Numbers
Before ask her number:
steps of responding:
Don’t use lines or play text game.
The Perfect Date
When:
Asking a woman out on each day of the week go from best to worst as follows:
- Thursday
- Wednesday
- Sunday
- Tuesday
- Monday
- Friday
- Saturday
Save dates for the nighttime, 6PM to 9PM is Great
What
Don’ts:
Don’t do lunch dates, and never make an afternoon date the first date if
possible.
Absolutely NO movie dates for first or second dates. Movie dates are terrible.
Avoid dinner dates if at all possible. They’re impersonal.
Where:
locations that are active, participatory, and allow for touching and flirting
find interesting places around you
find venues and activities that are close to either your place or her place 4-6 good date venues or activities within a short distance
Signals Women Give
Pre-Approach Signals
- Non-Accidental Eye Contact
- Smiling
- She Approaches You
- Proximity
Conversation Signals
- Excessive Smiling/Laughing:
- Flipping or Playing with Her Hair:
- Eyes Dilate
- Standing Closer to You Than Normal
- Excessive Eye Contact
- Prioritizes You
Escalation Signals
- Isolates Herself with You
- Ditches Her Friends For You
- Touches You
Chapter 15: Physicality and Sex
Getting physical with women, and getting physical quickly and
comfortably
He just has no inhibitions whatsoever about going for it. He’s always going for it. And until a girl clearly and firmly tells him “No!” he doesn’t stop, ever. And like I said, he gets girls all the time.
The biggest trigger for arousal for women is being desired.
two reasons for being physically aggressive:
make her comfortable with being touched by you, and set a precedent
people who interact with another person are generally seen as more dominant.
The best way to touch is to integrate physicality into your conversation. For example, using games
Escalating
Sex
A thicker condom or pills can help you last longer or keep penis up, but the larger problem is not being completely comfortable with your sexuality and having sex.
solution:
have as much sex as possible
Think of it as having to make yourself more secure and comfortable around her until you’re able to have sex. Slow down, relax
too excited: think about something non-sexual like baseball or video games.
can’t getting it up, relax and just look at her and think about how sexy she is.
The power of choice that the woman had (whether to have sex or not) now usually switches over to the man (whether to commit or not).
Vulnerability is independent from commitment. but, durability of the emotional connections relate to commitment.
Closing
The Action Plan is divided up into sections of five tasks or challenges.
My thoughts
What’s the inventment in oneself? buy many gorgeous clothes, skincare products and ? get a new haircut?
How about people who don’t care about this? (like German?)
(Ch10. Sexual Motivation) Porn has so many negative influence on interaction with women, but if spouses can be placed with other thing, what if?
need for a girlfriend = spiritual needs + physiological needs
spiritual needs can be met by friends and(or) pets.
physiological needs can be satisified by adult toys(dolls)
Besides, you can also save a lot of time to do numerous other things you want to, like playing video games, working, etc..
Maybe the biggest shortcoming is that If men all go to use adult toys(dolls) instand of dating women, then many industry, including baby products industry, online social and match-making platforms, may be damaged.